just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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