we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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