She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
