so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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