Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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