He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
