so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
