By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
