how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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