Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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