When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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