i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
