i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
