ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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