You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
