Got a toothbrush?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
