Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
