If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I supernannyed him into submission
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