I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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