I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
