My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
