i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
