at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
