I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
