he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
