If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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