420 ftw
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Welp...herpes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
