Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
