hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
