I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
