If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
