i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
