She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
