Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
