You're so nebulous sometimes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
