hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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