I wannas sexs uuuuu
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
