I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
