I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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