Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
