your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This is the high leading the old right now
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
