just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
