I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
