There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
