Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
