Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
