the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You were trust falling into bushes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
