I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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