Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
