yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
