she was so not down for the gang bang
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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