This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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