no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
